Babies are everywhere right now. I’m not even kidding when I say I know of a baby due in February (born, obviously now!), March, April, May and June. I think there’s a break for July, one in August and another in October. And they’re always being announced.
I suppose it’s to be expected. Many of my friends have been married 2+ years (though I do still have several getting engaged/single) and we’re all 28/29 years old. So it makes sense. In my mind, 2 years is the golden year to have a baby, or at least start talking about it. I felt a tremendous amount of pressure (that I didn’t realize at first) to plan our baby-making schedule out.
Funny thing was, every time I put a date on it (we’ll talk, and probably start trying in X month) I’d get to that time, and push it out further. I suppose this should have been a clue that I’m not ready.
Then we went to Hawaii, and rediscovered each other all over again. And I came to a realization. I’m not ready to give up our us time.
A friend made a comment that really stuck with me. She said, “you’ve been married a short, 2 years…” When you look at it that way, rather than, “you’ve already been married 2 years,” it changes everything.
So, I threw out my plan. And suddenly, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Just because I’m 28 doesn’t mean I need a baby. Just because I’ve been married 2 years doesn’t mean I need a baby. I want to travel, I want to cross things off my baby bucket list. I want to lose weight. I want to date my husband!
We dated long distance for 4 years before we got married. If you put together all the weeks we spent in person, it’s a like we only dated 16 weeks. Four short months together in person, before we got married (I guess it’s more like 9, because we did spent 5 months together before I went to grad school). However you look at it, 4 or 9 months isn’t very long.
So, we’re in our selfish phase. We’re traveling, going to school, losing weight, and loving our alone time. Coming to this realization was more freeing than any of the planning I was trying to do.
*Note: I didn’t want this to come across as judging in any way, shape or form. Everyone chooses to do things in their own time. Some people have kids young, so they can travel when they’re out of the house. We’ve choosing to travel first. Thankfully, everyone does things differently, or else we’d all have babies at the same time, and that would be weird.