No one told me how hard it would be

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I wrote this post a week and a half or so ago when I wasn’t feeling emotionally well. I’m feeling better, and thank you for your kind comments (and Facebook messages) on my last post. Since my blog is here for me to write, I figured I’d just publish this post since I wrote it, and writing is therapeutic.

We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ”Blessed are they that mourn” ā€” C.S. Lewis

I finally got on Pottermore. I’ve been waiting patiently, for once, for this experience. I never found the magic key that let people in early, and I waited until last October, when they promised it would be open to the public. Then I waited until whoever runs the stinking site got their act together and the rest of the free world could join.
For about 3 hours I was enthralled. I went through all the steps to get sorted, checked out my house and worked my way through the first book. And that was it. Pottermore was, it turns out, a big disappointment. I haven’t logged in since that first night.
My sister, who has been the site since last July, said, “I know, I just didn’t want to ruin it for you.”

No one told me Pottermore was a big disappointment. I had to learn it for myself.

No one told me how hard it would be to live 3,000 miles away from my family. I learned that myself too.

My best friend spent her childhood visiting grandparents in Illinois every Christmas. It never occurred to me that she was visiting her dad’s family. His whole family. Half of Kristin’s extended family lived miles away, and she only saw them once a year. It never occurred to me, but it made an impact on Kristin. She understood how hard it was to not live close to family, and she chose to go to school locally, while I moved 6 hours away. She chose to live in Boston, while I moved to Seattle. She knew how hard it was not to live near family, and yet she never told me. She didn’t want to ruin it for me.

Unlike Pottermore, my excitement to live where I am, with my husband, isn’t fleeting. I’ve grown to enjoy it here. I love our house. I love my job. I love the life we’ve built for ourselves here, however small.
Yet sometimes I wish someone had told me how hard it would be to live so far away from family. From my best friend.

I think about the future, a lot. I think about my kids, growing up away from their grandparents. I think about when I give birth, and those who I always thought would be in the delivery room. My mom, my sister, my best friend. They don’t live close enough to come running when it’s time.
I think about how Kristin and I were going to live on the same street, and raise our kids together. I think about how I can’t show up at my parent’s house when Geoff’s out for the night and I want a free meal.

I’ve made my choices, and no one told me it was going to be this hard. Then again, life is hard, no one ever said differently.

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” ~The Princess Bride

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About Megg

I'm a 28 year old, newly married, newly living in Washington, librarian trying to find a job in a library. Meanwhile I'm working with kids and spend my afternoons playing Mancala and reading picture books. Come along for the journey as I share recipes, decoration ideas, photos, and hopefully gain some insight from the internet and fellow bloggers.

3 responses »

  1. *Hugs!* I love the Princess Bride quote. šŸ™‚

    When I moved to Hawaii, my friends told me it must be a DREAM, and no one really listened when I said it was hard, if not totally miserable at times. I guess to some people it seemed that if the weather was nice all the time, what could possibly be wrong with my life? LOL, I don’t think they stopped and thought about the weather not being a significant part of my life, not that it doesn’t have an impact, but there are obviously a lot of bigger things, hah. I guess they equated Hawaii with vacation instead of deployments or separation from everything you’ve ever known. I can’t complain, because even though at the time I never expected to move back to Maine, I have, and I’m grateful for that. But more and more often there are times we miss our life in Hawaii, our miniscule apartment together and the foolish time we “wasted” on our days off without kids, lol. I wouldn’t choose to go back, but at the time it was my choice to be there with my husband (at least for the part when he was actually there).

    FYI, being pregnant, giving birth, and being a new mom is harder than people say too. I think you’ve heard this one, and I don’t mean to be negative, but this is a big one no one really told me. People would always try to put it in a good light to be encouraging for me, and I understand their motives and the need for strength, but I felt lied to or I felt like there must be something wrong with me to not immediately have super powers after conceiving, lol. Some actually treated me like I needed to suck it up, especially other women who already had children.

    On the other hand, I know there were times when people gave me a quiet warning, and I didn’t really fathom the meaning until it was me too. There was far more sugar coating than truthfulness. I think most people had good intentions, and I did too, but I didn’t see that the people saving me from the hard truths were also trying to be positive for themselves. They had been in the hard places and were sharing one part of how they managed, but I didn’t get the full meaning of that either, until dealing with it a while for myself. We live and learn, hopefully to be more real.

    Your post reminds me that there are things in my life I wish I felt comfortable being real about, because I think there could be people who would appreciate my honesty.

  2. I, too, married and moved far from family and friends, in an era when long distance phone calls were expensive and used only for extraordinary events or emergencies. So I didn’t even get to hear their voices very often. And yes, it was hard — and unexpected. But I’ve also experienced great happiness and intense joy. I missed Tennessee. I loved the Boston area. I miss your Mom & Dad; I miss you and Laura. But I love living with Grampa in Chapel Hill. So much of life comes as a surprise! In my old age, I am as grateful for the growth required of me by hard times as I am for the moments of ecstasy. I pray that you will be given the blessing of discovering that new life and growth can come from life’s pain as well as from its joys.

  3. Hi, I found your site from Kelly’s link-up. We just moved to Seattle from Dallas (as in last week). We left all our family in Dallas and moved with our two kids. I’m glad to read your post, it actually made me feel sad about the family we left but also glad that we were able to make a move on our own.

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