I wrote this post a week and a half or so ago when I wasn’t feeling emotionally well. I’m feeling better, and thank you for your kind comments (and Facebook messages) on my last post. Since my blog is here for me to write, I figured I’d just publish this post since I wrote it, and writing is therapeutic.
We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ”Blessed are they that mourn” — C.S. Lewis
I finally got on Pottermore. I’ve been waiting patiently, for once, for this experience. I never found the magic key that let people in early, and I waited until last October, when they promised it would be open to the public. Then I waited until whoever runs the stinking site got their act together and the rest of the free world could join.
For about 3 hours I was enthralled. I went through all the steps to get sorted, checked out my house and worked my way through the first book. And that was it. Pottermore was, it turns out, a big disappointment. I haven’t logged in since that first night.
My sister, who has been the site since last July, said, “I know, I just didn’t want to ruin it for you.”
No one told me Pottermore was a big disappointment. I had to learn it for myself.
No one told me how hard it would be to live 3,000 miles away from my family. I learned that myself too.
My best friend spent her childhood visiting grandparents in Illinois every Christmas. It never occurred to me that she was visiting her dad’s family. His whole family. Half of Kristin’s extended family lived miles away, and she only saw them once a year. It never occurred to me, but it made an impact on Kristin. She understood how hard it was to not live close to family, and she chose to go to school locally, while I moved 6 hours away. She chose to live in Boston, while I moved to Seattle. She knew how hard it was not to live near family, and yet she never told me. She didn’t want to ruin it for me.
Unlike Pottermore, my excitement to live where I am, with my husband, isn’t fleeting. I’ve grown to enjoy it here. I love our house. I love my job. I love the life we’ve built for ourselves here, however small.
Yet sometimes I wish someone had told me how hard it would be to live so far away from family. From my best friend.
I think about the future, a lot. I think about my kids, growing up away from their grandparents. I think about when I give birth, and those who I always thought would be in the delivery room. My mom, my sister, my best friend. They don’t live close enough to come running when it’s time.
I think about how Kristin and I were going to live on the same street, and raise our kids together. I think about how I can’t show up at my parent’s house when Geoff’s out for the night and I want a free meal.
I’ve made my choices, and no one told me it was going to be this hard. Then again, life is hard, no one ever said differently.
“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” ~The Princess Bride