“She had forgotten that summer would come again, that the green would spread over the frozen fields, that the earth would be turned up to the sun and the seed sown, and that the meadows would renew themselves. Was this what strengthened these New Englanders to endure the winter, the knowledge that summer’s return would be all the richer for the waiting?”
The Witch of Blackbird Pond
Earlier this week I drove past the farm near us and saw they have lambs. For those who don’t know me, I love sheep. They make me laugh and smile, because they’re so dumb. They run because another sheep starts running, and the fact that they have little tiny legs and a big body makes me wonder how they even stand up (it’s because all their mass is fluffy wool).
Anyway, when I drove past the farm and saw lambs it reminded me that Spring is coming. This past winter has been really difficult, depression-wise, for some reason. I’m not sure if it’s added responsibility at work (especially now that our Annual Campaign fundraiser is starting) or the fact that I was so happy all summer that winter seemed all the harsher. Whatever the reason, I’ve been struggling. When the sun set at 4:23 p.m., I thought I’d never see the light again. It felt so hopeless.
It should be noted that this winter hasn’t been bad, weather-wise. While the rest of the country has been freezing, we have had decent weather. Sure, it’s dropped to the 20s a few weeks, but it’s been relatively dry, and a couple weeks ago it was even in the 50s and sunny. So weather-wise, I clearly have nothing to complain about, right? And yet, it still seemed too cold, dark and difficult for me.
But gradually the sun started setting at 4:30, then 4:45, then 5 and later. In a few weeks we will change the clocks and I’ll be leaving when it’s light out again. Spring is coming.
2013 seemed to fly, and when I think back about events that I think happened last year, they were really 2012. Life keeps moving. Soon enough it’ll be spring, then summer, and we will have days of sunshine. I’ll be so hot again I won’t want to move. I’ll want to keep the kids at work outside as long as possible.
There’s light at the end of the tunnel of depression, and finally, I see it. I’m not out of the tunnel yet, but at least I know it has an end.